日本人のブログのリンク
自分のためにこのリンクを載せる。。。
日本人のブログ
インタネットのおかげでたくさんの面白いスタディ・エードが出てきてるようだ。大学生のころこれが素晴らしかったのに。。！
Native Speaker Correction and Question Answering
ジム・ブりーンのサイトも立派なサイトだ。メルボルンにいるでしょう。もしかして、この方は私の近所に住んでいるかも！（まさか。。。）
Jim Breen's Site
January 31, 2007
変な言葉
今年日本語を全然使わないので完全に忘れてしまう恐れがある。日本に留学していた間毎日のように日本語の日記を書いていたけれど、それがすごくいい勉強になった。一度国に帰ったら、仕事場以外、日本語を使う機会が少なくなったので、日本語を使うたびに仕事くさかった。私が一番面白いと思う日本語は友達同士が話すいわゆる砕けた言葉だ。なぜか分からないけど、一番覚えやすい日本語は私にとっては変な言葉だ。
去年の六月ごろ久しぶりに日本語で話すことになったの。私は当時にロンドンに住んでいて、毎日の知り合いでは日本人が一人もいなかったので日本語は本当に、心配させるほど忘れていた。初めて日本人の友達に出会った瞬間日本語でしゃべりたかったけれども、言葉が頭に浮かばなかった。幸運には二、三日間ぐらい経ってから前の能力がずいぶん戻ってくれたけれど、それでも、六年前に
苦労して、日本語を勉強しようとしたのに多くのことを忘れたり、かってに覚えたりすることになるのが悔しい。言語ってそんなもんだ。もっとも悔しいことは、一体どうして「でんき」と「でんし」のような日常的な言葉を言い間違えるのに「スケベ」のような、普通要らない言葉を万年覚えられるかしら？
記憶力って分からないな。
この六年に一度も日本に戻っていないので、多くの目新しくて面白い言葉が出てきてるでしょう。日本人のブロッグを探そうと思う。誰のブロッグを読むかに気をつけなきゃ。あまりに男の書いたものを読んでしまったら、男のように話す恐れがある。私には普通より人の口癖が移ると思う。三週間ぐらいしかオーストラリアに住んでいないのに、ニュージーランドの家族によってもうオーストラリア人の発音で話しているそうだ。あらまーーーー！
Cheap Thrills
Go to http://babelfish.altavista.com/
Type something in English.
Translate into Japanese.
Copy and paste Japanese and translate back to English.
Very funny. Completely free. Utterly useless.
(For the record, the Japanese is as weird as the English.)
Why It Tastes Better If Somebody Else Cooks It
This is another one of my theories. Last night we cooked up the Roo. (It doesn't taste just like chicken either - it's like very rich beef.) I stir-fried the meat and Dan cooked the rice. It was a joint effort. There's a certain comraderie in preparing a meal with someone else, but it doesn't matter what it is you're cooking, dinner always tastes much better if someone else has prepared it and put it on the table nicely arranged in front of you.
My old theory for this is as follows. The person who sits down at a table with a meal in front of them hasn't been a party to the sometimes dubious cooking processes that make up the final product. There's something unappealing about pulling a slab of bloody steak off a meat tray, chopping it up and watching it sizzle. However, the final product can be amazing. I'm sure if we knew what went on in lots of commercial kitchens, behind those white swinging doors, we wouldn't find our professionally prepared gourmet dinners as attractive. That's my old theory and who knows - there may be something to it.
My new theory goes like this. There is more to appreciating a meal than just the taste - appreciating a meal is a complete olfactory experience. The person cooking up curried roo, for instance, is standing right over the pan and the aroma happens so gradually that they don't end up smelling their own cooking. On the other hand, the person coming in the door at the end of the cooking process will be exposed to the wonderful smell. When they sit down to eat, the taste experience added onto the olfactory experience makes for an overall more tasty meal. Q.E.D.
So, how can a cook make their own meal smell better? I don't know, but I'm working on it. Last night I ran this theory past Dan, and then asked him to stand outside for a minute to see if the Roo would smell really good when he came back in. (I briefly thought of locking him outside, then considered that the consequences in returned pranks wouldn't be worth it.) He came in with renewed enthusiasm for the dinner. "Hey, it really does smell good!" he said. So I turned the gas off and went outside. It was pretty boring just standing out the front, and I wondered if the same thought was crossing Dan's mind, so with my eye on the door handle for any telling vibrations, I must have spent, oh, about twenty seconds in all out the front looking like a banished toddler, before going back inside. For the record, twenty seconds doesn't do it. Either Dan was placating me, or you have to stand outside for much longer than twenty seconds. A minute should probably do it. I'll have to keep up the experimentation.
January 30, 2007
under the lime light
I listened to the chairman of the Australian Drug Council give a talk on methamphetamine. Given that I've heard this kind of talk many times before, I was surprised by how much he held my attention. What he had to say inspired a poem.
under the lime light
under the clinical, harsh light of reason
it doesn't sound so good.
paranoia, delusions, hallucinations
exhibited in erratic, violent behaviour.
we know it.
they know it.
needle punctures, wasted limbs, vacant eyes
tell the story
under the fluorescent bulb.
it's the neon sheen, the red flare,
the dim incandescence, the flashing sporadic aurora
shrouding the truth on the dance floor.
party drugs
sell dressing up, cocktails, friends and good music
ice
cool, clean and crisp... sounding.
masking the reality of the
dirt, filth, danger and craziness
that is reality.
crystal?
its clean, resonant, rainbow image seduces
the unwary on the dim techno floor
where everyone looks better
where the light doesn't reach
pump in the speed
euphoric alertness. energy, swinging
speed's really living.
Life, only better...
sublime.
I think lighting has a lot to do with how our brains process things. Humans must have evolved to reason more fully under well-lit conditions and sleep better in dim conditions. If our most natural behaviour in dimlit conditions is sleeping, then no wonder we can make bad decisions at night time that we might not make during the day.
This poem was inspired by the great poet "Master Grunthos the Flatulent". I present you with a simple choice. Either die in the vacuum of space or tell me how good you thought my poem was in the comments section.
The Contractor
She sits in the chair behind me at work.
She works by the hour with plenty of perks.
She won't work too fast or her job will dry up.
When you ask her for help she'll just reply, "Nup".
The boss was away for an out of town meeting,
If she did any work, it must have been fleeting.
She fidgeted, fiddled and paced all around,
I put on some ear phones to drown out the sound.
I'm engrossed in my work and I don't even see
That she's talking quite loudly, quite loudly to me.
I turn around slowly and give her attention,
Her interruption better be worth the mention.
But no, I don't get it, what she's on about.
She should swallow her mouthful, or just spit it out.
She's having her lunch, or her afternoon tea,
What she's trying to say goes right above me.
After asking her twice to repeat what she's said,
I make out I've heard her by nodding my head.
No, I don't want a coffee (she makes them quite badly).
Nor a latte from downstairs, I'm cutting down, sadly.
She's opening cabinets, clicking her pens,
She's searching around for a lost contact-lens.
What I hear very plainly is she's not doing work.
Those contractors all are destined to shirk.
The fidgets continue, I'm losing my rag.
If I ask her to shut-it will I sound like a nag?
She's paid by the hour, I'm paid by the day,
If I don't finish, I've no choice but to stay.
I decide to ignore it, this incessant shuffling,
This pacing and scratching and huffing and puffing.
The office seems stifling, the walls closing in,
She scrapes back her chair and aims for the bin.
The paper it bounces, right off the wall,
It ricochets just like a white wrinkly ball.
Straight into my head, I felt it was war,
The paper ball bashing the very last straw.
I swing round one eighty on my swivelly chair,
I wait for more impact and give her a stare.
She swallows her lunch, she's looking at me,
"Sorry", she mutters. "Another cuppa tea?"
"I'm sick of tea, coffee, lattes and all!
And I've just been hit by a wrinkly ball!
I'm sick of your shuffling, you're obviously bored!
You can do some of my work, I've got plenty stored!"
I wanted to yell this, for the office to hear.
I wanted to give her a clip round the ear.
But I didn't, I'm sorry, and I'll say it next time.
For now I'll just have to make do with this rhyme.
Mucking Around With Paintings
The really cool thing about doing a painting and then taking a digital image of it is that you can then muck around with it as much as you like without damaging the real thing. Here I find out what the picture would have been like had I used cool colours. More SciFi than anything, I think.
Today's painting effort
Gouache, with biro, metallic marker, modelling paste, beads and coloured pencil, on canvas. I believe that counts as mixed media. Following the Art Nouveau thing on in the patterning. Thoroughly enjoyed myself doing these paintings. With mixed media though, I can go a little overboard. Must stop here. No more beads...
How To Eat A Mango
Do you cut your mangoes like this? I highly recommend doing so if you don't. Apart from the middle bit, when juice runs down your arm and you get mango juice rash from sucking the last fibres off the stone, it is a very dainty way to eat a mango.
Shepherd's Pie
I know this is probably going to be the butt of a few jokes, but I made a really good shepherd's pie. It's enormous. It will do for a week's worth of meals. The roo is currently marinading in curry. It will be well and truly currified by the time the Shepherd's Pie is a goner.
Diatribe Of The Day
Before I go any further, I will say that I wouldn't purchase a CD entitled "Australian Hits of the 80s". But it's funny listening to other people's iPods just how much music can grow on you. I have been listening to this album on Aussie Dan's iPod for a few weeks now, so I was surprised to find, scrolling through the songlist on the album that it should probably be renamed "Australian HIT of the 80s". This is because by the time I take out all the songs which are KIWI, there is probably only about one song left on it that can be honestly labelled Australian.
Take the Split Enz song, 'Six Months In A Leaky Boat'. Of all the Split Enz songs, I can't think of a more New Zealand song. Here are the lyrics of the first two verses:
When I was a young boy
I wanted to sail around the world
That's the life for me, living on the sea
Spirit of a sailor, circumnavigates the globe
The lust of a pioneer, will acknowledge
No frontier
I remember you by, thunderclap in the sky
Lightning flash, tempers flare,'round the horn if you dare
I just spent six months in a leaky boat
Lucky just to keep afloat
Aotearoa, rugged individual
Glisten like a pearl
At the bottom of the world
The tyranny of distance
Didn't stop the cavalier
So why should it stop me
I'll conquer and stay free
Note the highlighted words could really only be used to describe New Zealand. (Rugged because of our mountains. They only have speedbumps over here.) And Aotearoa being the Maori (Indigenous New Zealander) word for New Zealand.
Dave Dobbyn's 'Slice of Heaven' is also included on the Australian Hits album, even though Dave Dobbyn is definitely a Kiwi, always has been, and this song was the theme tune to the Footrot Flats movie, an undoubtedly New Zealand iconic movie.
Just because a song reached Number One on the Australian charts in the 80s surely doesn't justify its inclusion in an album entitled thus?? You fellas can have the pav, but you ain't havin' Six Months In A Leaky Boat, nor are you claiming Dave Dobbyn... not until he starts throwing phones at people at least.
January 29, 2007
Illustration Friday: Strings
Yesterday I did a few paintings. This is one of them. Before yesterday I had never used gouache. I have a very good collection of acrylic paints in NZ, and one day I will go and get them. But there seemed no point getting more of the same (paints do have an expiry date...) so I thought I'd try something different.
I really like gouache. It is completely opaque and if you make a mistake, you just paint right over the top. Acrylic is fairly opaque too, though it depends more on the pigment and the brand. About a year ago I remember painting about 20 layers of white acrylic to obliterate something purple underneath that I changed my mind about. Gouache, on the other hand, seemed to suit the art nouveau effect that I was trying for... Art nouveau being the Japanese inspired look that was popular at the end of the nineteenth century. This style relies on flat, blocks of colour bordered by an outline - here black, but often other colours. There is something appealing about not even trying to achieve anything realistic, but rather something other worldly. (Anyhow, isn't that what cameras are for... realistic?) Of course, I wanted an art nouveau technique with a modern touch. It took me much longer to decide on what to paint than it did to actually paint it. It always does.
As you can see, I still haven't mastered how to take a photo of a painting... And as usual, the day after I do a painting I see bits that want touching up. Can I be bothered? No, I never can. If I can't finish a painting in one session, I don't finish it. I think this is in part to do with the fact that I lose sight of what I was trying to achieve, and a painting never looks any good half done. In fact, they can look like they're going to be crap... so keeping the vision is important for me.
Everything stinks until it's finished.
- Dr Seuss
- Dr Seuss
January 28, 2007
Macro Photography Link
This guy has a really cool macro photography blog. I must learn how to use Photoshop so I can do stuff more like this...
Macro Photography Blog
Tree Frogs
Near the vege shop is a shop with a very large sign on the window which reads, 'We Now Stock Reptiles!' So with such persuasive advertising techniques, we had to go in and have a squizz.
There were mostly fish in there. But in one little corner there was a tank with a few rocks and sitting on those rocks, if you looked very carefully, were tree frogs. I wondered at first if they were real or just little ornaments, as they didn't move. Didn't even blink. Then I worked out what they were doing. They were all varying shades of the colour of whatever it was they were sitting on. One little green frog was obviously doing his best to turn black, as that was the colour of what he was sitting on. His mate had been sitting there longer, and was much blacker. I saw the green frog had a few streaks of blackishness down his back. He was doing pretty well. I wondered if he has to concentrate in order to turn black, or if he just happens to turn black involuntarily.
Imagine if humans did that. I am presently sitting in a black chair, so if I had a bit of tree frog in me, I'd be black. What about you? What if you had a terrible paisley lounge, and spent too long watching the telly. What if you had a long nap on top of your duvet and then had to get up and go out? What if whenever you stood against a wall, you turned into a light switch, skirting board and wallpaper? It could be quite handy, until someone tried to turn you on, I suppose.
There were mostly fish in there. But in one little corner there was a tank with a few rocks and sitting on those rocks, if you looked very carefully, were tree frogs. I wondered at first if they were real or just little ornaments, as they didn't move. Didn't even blink. Then I worked out what they were doing. They were all varying shades of the colour of whatever it was they were sitting on. One little green frog was obviously doing his best to turn black, as that was the colour of what he was sitting on. His mate had been sitting there longer, and was much blacker. I saw the green frog had a few streaks of blackishness down his back. He was doing pretty well. I wondered if he has to concentrate in order to turn black, or if he just happens to turn black involuntarily.
Imagine if humans did that. I am presently sitting in a black chair, so if I had a bit of tree frog in me, I'd be black. What about you? What if you had a terrible paisley lounge, and spent too long watching the telly. What if you had a long nap on top of your duvet and then had to get up and go out? What if whenever you stood against a wall, you turned into a light switch, skirting board and wallpaper? It could be quite handy, until someone tried to turn you on, I suppose.
January 27, 2007
Roo Night
I drove past a sign today that said, "Roo Night $12". Now there's some juice for a few jokes to counterbalance the sheep jokes, if ever I saw one!
Anyhow, I have never eaten kangaroo before, so decided to purchase some roo steak in preparation for a good feed later in the week. I'll keep you posted. Poor old roo. R.I.P.
Breakfast Will Never Be The Same
The Seventh Day Adventists have been pulling the wool over our eyes. All these years, growing up on weetbix in New Zealand, I was under the illusion that Weetbix was a Kiwi thing. This might in part be due to the (catchy but annoying) tune on the TV advertisement that goes something like this.
(Clear throat.) "Kiwi kids are weetbix kids! Kiwi kids are weetbix kids!"
You would get that impression, wouldn't you? Added to that not-so-subliminal message is the writing on the box which I BELIEVE READS:
Made by Kiwis.
Loved by Kiwis.
Well, just look at the box of weebix I got over here, wouldja?! You wouldn't read about it. The Aussies have been told it's theirs. To stop any further misconceptions, what the Seventh Day Adventists need to do is re-label their boxes and make a new advertising jingle.
"Made by Kiwis and Aussies."
"Loved by Aussies and Kiwis"
"Kiwi and Aussie kids are Weetbix kids!" (You need to step up the tempo to fit it all into the tune.)
"Aussie and Kiwi kids are Weebix kids!" (So there's no fighting, swap around who goes first.)
Aren't half-truths a kind of lie? Don't liars go straight to hell?
My ANZAC Biscuit Theory
These are the remainder of the ANZAC biscuits I cooked last week. That was the day I also weeded the garden and even cleaned the toilet. I must have been feeling domestic. I made one batch that was chewy and one that was crunchy. This was a happy accident, as it turns out I like them chewy and Dan likes them crunchy. He also likes them burnt on the bottom. Another happy coincidence.
As all Australians and New Zealanders are well aware, there is a dessert called Pavlova which Kiwis reckon was invented in NZ, and Aussies reckon was invented in Aus. Who cares. I don't. If I liked pavlova with a little more vigour I might care. I might even make petition boards and go to town for an ex-pat protest. Anyhow, I reckon ANZAC biscuits were invented to take the heat off the thousands of soldiers who ended up beating each other during wartime over arguments about pavs. At least there's one thing all antipodeans agree on. ANZAC biscuits belong to both of us.
Aussies can have the crunchy ones. I'll have the chewy ones. All's happy.
My Teabag Theory
In New Zealand, if you buy your teabags in packs of 100, you'll be buying the cheap ones. Which means they don't come with little tags and strings attached. Australians are flasher than us. They don't have to chase around in a cup of tea trying to locate the little soggy brown bag. (Why do some teabags float and others don't? Let's just call those floaties and sinkers.)
My theory as to why Aussies get strings and Kiwis don't: Australia is a few degrees warmer than NZ overall. Some places more than others. Aussies already have a body temperature that is likely to be higher. Aussies don't need an extra few degrees warming them up via their fingertips trying to grab a sinker. Kiwis, on the other hand, especially Southerners in the wintertime, actually quite like to have their fingertips warmed by the comforting activity of searching round for a sinker in their brew of an evening.
Post script
I have just been informed that in Australia...
There are bags without tags for pots
And bags with tags for cups.
There's bags in pots
And strings in knots
And bags with tags can go in pots
And bags without can go in cups.
Whaddaya reckon? Dr Suess the Second?
Add Some Extra Fuel To Your Cuppa
To add to the list of disturbing products in Australia, if you are a Kiwi and know the company CSR at all, you'll know them for their production of things such as aluminium, ethynol and other indigestible things. Well, hey, come to Australia and you learn they also make sugar. It's not the trusty old Chelsea sugar lining the shelves at Coles and Woollies, but CSR. Goodness knows what this stands for. It doesn't say anywhere obvious even if you google it. So I guess I'll never know. Let's just say it stands for Compounds of Suspect Reputation.
I have an over-active imagination gland. (Currently taking medication for it.) What concerns me is the thought that the people making sugar are also producing ethynol and aluminium. Don't you wonder if a few drops of ethynol, or aluminium dust snuck into the sugar, and that your cuppa will have a bit of extra kick to it? 100% Natural What? Isn't cancer also natural?
Me In My Rose Tinted Glasses
Ever since I bought those rose-tinted glasses, life has been great. Strangely, even though I bought them in Switzerland almost exactly a year ago, I still haven't lost them! In fact, it's almost our first anniversary, me and my glasses. I must remember to take them out somewhere really special. Though when you're wearing rose-tinted glasses, you don't need any excuse!
Red Light Cameras
This photo is not particularly useful, nor interesting, apart from the fact it contains another familiar place name - Christchurch - my hometown. However, it puts me in mind of a bit of helpful driving advice I received on our way to our Indian lunch today.
D: "There's a good way to tell which intersections have red-light cameras at them."
Me thinking: "Don't you look out for the white box?"
D: "You see lots of skid marks at traffic lights with cameras."
Yes, Kiwis new to Melbourne should bear that advice in mind. Don't watch other cars, nor bother with your blindspot checking. Don't worry too much that the give way rules are critically different. Just keep your eyes peeled for skid-marks eh, and she'll be right. You might even consider adding a few, as a gift to those who follow in your path.
Another Mall
If you can read backwards, you'll see that this photo was taken at Chadstone, the biggest mall in the Southern Hemisphere (apparently). If it's not, it must be close. I've never been to a mall with traffic lights and a roundabout INSIDE the carpark. The problem with really big malls is you can easily forget where you've parked, and spend two hours looking for your car when you come out. You can also forget which floor you're on, or even if you're underground. I wonder how many people have left home, like any other normal day, saying, "I'm just off down to the mall, darl!" NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN...? (Shiver) Doesn't bear thinking about.
You'll be glad to know we both made it out safely. This is in part due to the fact that Dan purchased a large ticket item in the form of a supersize parquet chopping board (30% off at Target) which came in handy battling against the tide of pedestrian shoppers as we battled our way out. He clocked a few people (but mainly himself) and the chopping board was consequently already covered in scratches before he got it home. I reckon he should chop veggies in the evening, then keep it under his bed overnight, to scare away intruders. You almost need a licence to carry a chopping board in Aus. Well, they ban certain kinds of knives... legislating chopping boards is no doubt in the pipeworks at the PC Commission.
Deja vu
I keep noticing that the names in Melbourne are all the same names as I have seen in England and in New Zealand. Of course, most of them come from England in the first place, and we both borrowed them. Today we drove past my old school, or at least a school with the same name... Northcote Primary School.
We also drove to a new part of Melbourne that I hadn't been to before and I saw Takapuna Street and Rotorua Street - definitely New Zealand Maori place names. The other day I even walked past a street in Preston called Kia-Ora Street, Maori for hello! I know there is a high proportion of Maori people who emigrate to Australia, but I didn't know they had brought the language with them. Anyhow, that's good for me - I feel right at home!
Speaking of things Kiwi, there are New Zealand Natural booths in all the malls (Went to another mall today - Chadstone - I keep wondering which is the mall in Kath and Kim?) I don't recall ever having eaten from a New Zealand Natural booth, though, so I must do that as a patriotic duty.
Speaking of more things Kiwi, I saw a NZ supporters' cap in Rebel Sport the other day. I picked it up hoping it was dirt cheap, as you'd expect on Aussie turf, but no, it was almost thirty bucks. So it's still there. So much for that theory. Glad to see that New Zealand Supporters' Gear is right up there in value in Australian stores... (grin).
Australia Day Weekend
Can't say I did the traditional fireworks thing on Aussie day, so here's a photo of a flag. Instead.
Turt the Turtle
Turt is an Aussie supporter who hangs from Dan's car's visor. He doesn't say much, but that may be because he's getting on a bit these days. He's not much use as a navigator, but makes a relaxed passenger - he doesn't scream or anything even if you make him try. He spends most of the trip giving you a brown eye, or rather a green eye. He requires surgery on his backside as it appears his 'Made in China' label has been torn off rather callously.
Mango Lassi
Today we went for lunch at Dan's Hindu workmate's house. I had never had Southern Indian food before, and never Indian at a real Indian's house before. No drinking, no smoking, no poultry, no meat... what to bring? Mangoes seemed pretty safe. There's a really good fruit and veg market in Northern Melbourne where you can get this many mangoes for 7 bucks. Pretty good eh? They're individually barcoded too, which is great. And a free box! Wo man, hold me back... The smell of mango takes me right back to Africa, where mangoes were literally growing on trees. (Notice correct usage of 'literally' as an intensifier there.)
When we arrived for lunch the mangoes were promptly transformed into mango lassis, a.k.a. mango smoothies made with yoghurt. Very good. I tell you what though, having a mango smoothie as a pre-dinner drink really fills you up. And I noticed that Southern Indian food is pretty generous on the old carbohydrates - bread products, potatoes and rice all in the same meal! No dinner tonight. I am still dragging my stomach on the floor!
60% Less Fat Than Fat
What's this technique called in advertising terminology... incomplete comparisons or something. If something is 60% less fat, and always has been, then how can they say it has 60% less?? Anyhow, it was pretty good. What do you always think of when you think of turkish delight? I always think of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Edmond and the White Witch. I think Turkish Delight must have been one of C. S. Lewis' favourite sweets.
How do you like your eggs? Happy or sad?
The happy egg tasted about the same as the sad egg. Perhaps the sad egg knew I was going to eat it first.
If I Were an Evangelist
I would use this photo in the template of my business card. It was taken on Christmas Eve too.
Carrying Loads on Heads
In some cultures the people all seem to carry things on their heads. In others people all seem to carry things in their hands. I wonder how this clear division came about.
Muslim Dress
It's not easy for Western women to get used to the fact that people in other cultures don't allow the freedom of women wearing what is most comfortable, and indeed most practical in such hot weather.
Wick Picking
Hangnail is a stupid name for what's not actually a nail, but an annoying little piece of skin on the finger. So wick is a much better name for it. They look like wicks on candles (but I don't recommend lighting them). If you try and yank them off, you'll discover that they are not isolated little appendages, but attached to live skin, and sometimes the ripping action can result in a very long line of skin coming off. I once saw someone completely unravel, as they kept worrying and worrying away at their wick. It was an ugly sight. They got skinnier and skinnier before my eyes until there was nothing left but a big ball of knotted skin-string on the floor.
So don't pick wicks.
January 26, 2007
Bird Crumpets
About a week ago I threw out some wholemeal crumpets which had been sitting in the fridge for, what appeared to be at least, a very long time. They were hard as rock. I thought I'd throw them onto the 'garden' (ie bark, due to severe water restrictions) for the birds. The birds have had a peck at them, but they are still there, for the most part, though are blending into the landscape more these days. You have to know they were crumpets to look at them now.
This morning I noticed two pigeons digging a hole in the bark. I hadn't seen this before. It may be because I spent one day last week pulling out weeds. This was an altruistic decision, based on the fact that neighbours probably don't appreciate seeds of weeds blowing into their back yards. Anyhow, the pigeons must have appreciated this, and it may have stirred up the juicy bugs for them, so there they were.
The conversation from the other side of the window went something like this. "Hey, there's two pigeons in your back yard! Look, they're digging holes!" "Where? Oh, they must be nesting!" "It must be because I weeded the garden for them. They look like they're looking for worms. It wouldn't be a bad place to nest, not now I've weeded for them. And they've got crumpets." (Looking very concerned) "Crumpets? Poor things. What are crumpets?" (Looking perplexed) "You know. They were in your fridge. Look." (Looking relieved) "Oh, right! I thought it must be some nasty bird disease."
Now that this is all cleared up, and the birds have recovered from their crumpets, I'm waiting for them to come back. I scared them away trying to take a photo of them. I am wanting to try out that pigeon pie recipe on the BBC website.
African Art in Zanzibar
One thing that stood out to me about all the African art I saw was how much they make use of very bright colours, especially the primary and secondary colours. Their lives are surrounded by greens and ochres and natural shapes, so these artworks make a good contrast. In our culture, on the other hand, with our daily lives full of advertisements, symmetrical shapes and unnaturally applied colour, the type of art we often choose to hang on the wall and daydream about is a natural scene.
I Love African English
The signs I saw in Africa reminded me of the interesting English signs I often saw in Japan. Speaking of which, there is an interesting page on Wikipedia on the subject of Engrish. Check it out. The links are cool too.
More Nice Blue Colours
I chose manual flash for this photo, and the rope has come out blue even though it wasn't... cool!
Zanzibar Sailor
These guys were the most toned it is possible for a human to be. When you see their lifestyle you understand why. They spend all day yanking on sailing ropes and swimming in the clear blue waters of Zanzibar. Not a bad way to make a living eh.
Me and My Aussie Hat
I have had this hat for six years. It is finally time to say goodbye, as it is looking really shabby nowadays. I brought you back to your homeland to rest, hat.
January 25, 2007
Memories from African Safari
This list only makes any sense to those who were there at the time. You know who you are.
Do you wanna see my log?
Mozzarella
Muchi muchi
Debbie's phantom island experience
You didn't shit yourself did ya?
The stronger the ginger, the stronger the comfortables.
"Comfortable times"
Tomato sauce makes for disturbing spew
She's an optional activity.
Apple theory works!
The bus, I mean the truck.
I'm a good boy, but a bad man!
"She's hot!" "Yeah, it is warming up a bit."
The very clean pool
Have you taken your tablet?
The very polite German bus-driver and the wonderful German singing
What time is cooking duty? You're five minutes late!
Swimming in the tent
Square to spare?
Doom man
The Director
The travelling bra shop
Solid gold!
I don't have any change.
Give me money!
Mark out of ten?
Vulture chops
Marriage offers and promises of fried ants
Spewing up after a rap jump in the Zambezi gorge
Spread your legs girl! (That man loves his job)
You owe me a dinner.
And you still do, Debbie.
My New iPod
iPods are funny things. There are people who love them, and people who hate them. I can understand why you might think that iPods are contributing to the end of modern social life as we know it. If you live in a crowded city, you'll lose count of the people on public transport staring vacantly into space with white wires coming out of their ears. I am one of them. I know lots of people who refuse to be a sheep and get an iPod. Nobody likes to be a sheep, except hopefully sheep (otherwise you've got some issues with self-image) but then you've got to ask yourself your motivation for doing something. The check should be: "Am I doing this because everyone else is doing it, or am I doing it because I honestly think this is really cool?" Most mature people run this check past themselves, I'm sure. There is also like the converse check: "Am I not doing this because everyone else is doing it, or am I not doing this because I think this is a really bad idea?" I think there are a few people who don't run this check by themselves. I hate being sheepish as much as the next commuter, but I think iPods are REALLY cool.
This is my new 80 gig iPod. Getting my nano wet in Africa, whilst being hard to deal with at the time, meant on the other hand that I had a real excuse to upgrade. I was sick of always wishing I'd bought a bigger iPod, so bought the biggest one I could at the time - it is now 20 gig larger than my laptop. How does this happen? It's so small compared to my laptop! It's different from my nano in that, like the computer it is, it makes little whirry noises when it boots up, and takes a few seconds longer when you first turn it on. Fair enough. It's still much faster than my laptop is to boot up. The other good thing about having an 80 gig iPod is you can hook it up to a speaker and use that for your stereo - getting rid of your CDs. You can plug it into your car too, and take it with you when you leave, thereby off-setting a few other costs you may have if you like to have music wherever you go. iPods are also really easy to use.
Sometimes if everyone has got something, it's because they're really good. iPods, I feel, fit into this category, so if you haven't got one but love your music, run the other check past yourself before you criticise all the iPod sheep.
My New Bike
Don't get me wrong - this is a great bike. I thoroughly recommend Schwinn so far. This bike glides along nicely and I'm really liking the disc brakes. Yes, you can tell the difference between the old kind and the new kind of brakes. I think the seat is a bit hard, but then that might be the seat just going out in sympathy with the callouses on my backside that come from getting on a bike for the first time in ages.
What I don't get is why good bikes these days don't come with mudguards. Now, I understand this is just another reason why I'm called a Nana, but it really is ridiculous that you have to buy one specially. What is even more ridiculous is that there's no real connection that a normal mudguard can fit onto on this bike - I had to get one with the same attachment as my back light, which makes it seem like a semi-permanent addition, and it flaps about. But who wants to turn up at their destination with a racing stripe up their backside? I'll tell you who. Show-offs. A certain kind of show-off. Posers, is the word I think I'm after. I'm going to call this sub-group 'Self-Sacrificing Posers'. They do stupid things to themselves just to look good. There is a racing stripe group, who, via an uncomfortable wetness up their backside, announce to the world, 'Look at me, I am a cyclist!' (For the sake of my pro-cyclist friends, I know there are other considerations when you're racing, rather than commuting.)
There are also...
2. Skiing Posers (Who don't remove their ski tags on their jackets even in the summer time.) There are also people who leave flight tags to exotic destinations on their suitcases, of course. But skiing posers also love the reverse panda-eye tan you can only get in the winter-time by hitting the slopes.
3. Braving the Cold Posers, usually teenagers, who despite it being 3 degrees will stride down the street with midriff exposed or walk through the rain in one thin absorbent layer.
There are many other categories, but hopefully you're getting my point. So, mudguard it is. You can call me Nana if you like. I'll take it as a compliment.
Pearlescent Blue
I was surprised how many birds and insects have this blue colour on them in Africa. I think this little fella has had his colours done, as he looks smashing in his blue coat and camel trouser, accessorised stylishly with a white belt.
Contentedness
I think this is the look you would have if you knew you were King of the Savannah. It's the same look house-cats get when they're sitting on the best seat in the house, don't you think? (And when aren't cats sitting in the best seat of the house?)
My Digital Camera
The children loved seeing their images pop up instantaneously on the digital cameras.
Malaria
Of course, if you're a tourist, you'll be on some sort of anti-malarial medication such as Malarone, but this is not the case for the locals.
Two Girls
These two little girls held my hand around the village. Apparently they believe it's lucky to touch a white person.
Why People Don't Live in Tents
This is what you wake up to when you go camping in Zambia at the start of the rainy season. This is a photo taken after dragging the tent out of the puddle.
Victoria Falls
Taken from the Zambia Side. According to Zimbabweans, they're better from the Zimbabwe side. But they were pretty spectacular anyhow. There was a very welcome, very fine mist enshrouding us that afternoon, a mist which you can then see from the plane flying out of the nearby Livingstone Airport.
Londoners Should Be Grateful for Pigeons.
Apparent-ly, according to Dan, Londoners should be grateful for pigeons. This is because if there's ever a food shortage, they will be able to survive on pigeon pie... at least for a little while. (If you have ever seen the movie 28 Days Later, you'll know that this may actually happen. Everything invented by SciFi authors eventually happens.) Anyhow, as a favour to my mates in London, I have included a link to a pigeon pie recipe.
Pigeon Pie Recipe
You'll need to make sure your drawing skills are up to scratch, as you'll observe from the recipe you need 4 or 5 DRAWN pigeons. Feel free to use the above masterpiece if you must. You'll see I modelled it on anime, the Japanese cartoons, and have drawn the Japanese characters for what Japanese pigeons would say. (Of course, Japanese pigeons speak very quickly and are very polite.) Pigeon eggs make okay omelettes too, apparently. If you can find any.
January 24, 2007
The Perfect Valentine's Image
Well, Valentine's Day is coming up. Hmmm. What does this card say? It's not looks that count??
Birds All Lined Up
That's it girls, just stand there in a line, all facing the same way... That's beautiful darlings.
Horses in Striped Pajamas
Yes, I know. Horses and zebras are not related. Yes, humans are more closely related to chimps than horses are related to zebras. But just look at them... How can they not be related? Oh, I reckon, after close observation that zebras are white with black stripes. You need to observe the pattern around the anus on newly born zebra foals to know what I mean.
Cheeky Kerry
It was discovered, at various stages by all, that certain coloured mattresses were more comfortable than others...
Shall I bother?
Cassidy looks like he's wondering whether he should pitch his tent, or perhaps just sleep under the stars...
Erecting the Tent
After a month we were all pretty good at pitching tents. This was taken before that skill-level had developed. Giovanni and Petra didn't have very good luck with their tents. Each tent they picked seemed to have something wrong with it!
Where's Wally?
If you approach viewing of this photo with a Where's Wally level of scrutiny you'll see some wildlife. Promise.
Giraffe's Horns
I don't know if they're called horns actually. Anyway, this is them in perfect profile. I think they make the giraffe look really cute.
Tribute to those Sandals
Those sandals were oh so comfortable before I waded through the sea and they fell apart. I'll always look at this photo and remind myself not to do that again...
The Mad Italian
When someone got stuck in the road and our driver decided to help out, the mad Italian decided to get out and walk amongst the wildlife. Well, he made it. And thanks to the skill of our driver, the other vehicle made it out of the bog too. That was quite an experience, I must say.
Dinner at Serengeti
One weird thing about this photo is how well the number plate on the safari vehicle was reflected in the background. Wouldn't it be so much cooler if they were yellow eyes?? Actually, this campsite was in the middle of Serengeti NP and we were advised not to leave our tents in the middle of the night. Here I am wearing my St Christopher, which I had to take off later in Zanzibar as the chain made my neck turn green. I still had it though, and it did its job - almost - I only buggered up my iPod and lost my charger. That's not bad going for me, who leaves stuff everywhere.
Baboons
I really like baboons, monkeys and anything like that. I can watch them for hours. This photo was taken just after an altercation between several baboons. There was a lot of spitting and hissing and then they all ran away.
Where's ya pants?
I don't know if it's just me, but these things always look like they've been so concerned with tarting themselves up with feathers that they've forgotten to put their pants on before going out for the afternoon.
Plains
After a year in London, of high horizons, I guess I was a bit gobsmacked by the fact that I could see so far away.
I Smell Impala
This lion is scoping out a baby impala in the distance. If you zoom in on the mouth, you'll see she can smell it. She decided not to bother, as it was a spindly looking thing, and she can't have been hungry enough.
Car Dust in the Distance
The roads we travelled on were shingle, so the vehicles created quite a storm of dust as they drove along. It took me a while to work out what that was, as you wouldn't think such a small vehicle could create such a dust cloud. I suppose the zebras see us coming from miles away.
Giraffes for Belinda
I promised my mate in London that I would take a photo of a giraffe for her. Well, here you go Bee. No doubt I'll have some more for you at some stage. These guys are the catwalk models of the animal kingdom. You wonder how they can run, but they somehow manage it. Lovely long eyelashes too. There's this guy who goes round with a ladder and mascara wand, doing these dudes up for photo shoots every morning. I saw him, honest!
The Serengeti Truck
This is the truck that took us to Ngorongoro Crater and Serengeti. Our camping gear is on the roof. It looks pretty precarious, now I think about it, but it never did fall off.
Leaves and Lake
This photo just appeals, for some reason. I wish that tallest leaf were just a little bit longer, to reach above the horizon and make more of a focal point. Oh well. Never work with animals, small children and leaves.
Have a road, might as well use it.
I wonder if this baboon knows he has a bald patch on his bum? Baboons seem to take great pride in their bums, so he's probably painfully aware of it. Maybe he just had a really bad itch one time.
Perfect Desktop Image
When my laptop finally makes it from London I am going to use this as my desktop. I usually forget to give myself eye-rests when I'm absorbed in doing something on computer. This'll do the job, I reckon, just gazing into the distance.
Do Camels Get Sick of Eating Bushes?
Did humans once have an equally unvaried diet? What if you had to eat one single food for the rest of your life? I have often contemplated this one. I reckon I would have a club sandwich. That means I get at least a little bit of variety in the one meal - there's bread, salad, egg and meat. That's not too bad. Or, what if a genie (or whatever) appeared and said, "Okay, there's a new rule. You have to pick what you ate yesterday and eat it every single day for the rest of your life." What would you be eating? I'd be eating weetbix, soup and soggy pizza forever. Thank god I had some chocolate yesterday as well.
So what is this camel thinking about? I reckon he's savouring his bush. You can just tell by the ecstatic look in his eye.
Clouds Above the Village
You've probably worked out by now that we went to Africa in the rainy season. Well, it didn't start really pouring down until our last week there, which was fortunate for us. It did, however, constantly look as if it were about to rain any minute. And it was very hot whilst this build-up was happening.
Old Car
It's a shame I didn't manage to focus this one properly. It also was taken from the window, and the pogo must have been hurtling down the road at this point. Men and cars, eh.
East African View from Window
This would have to be a representative pic of what you see from a window driving through Africa. I have many more pictures similar to this one. The only things that look fresh and new are the mobile phone advertisements tacked onto the buildings. You see coca-cola signs everywhere too, though the red in those tends to fade before they're re-painted. I even saw a coca-cola sign that was also the sign for a girls' school. How's that for targetting them young!? I think Margaret Atwood would have something to say about the Coca-cola-isation of Africa.
View from Pogo Window
Yes, the horizon needs straightening, though this was taken from the bus, so it perhaps adds a bit of motion. Of course, Fortune wouldn't let us call the vehicle a 'Bus' ("I'm a truck driver, not a bus driver!") so the word became more and more diminutive as the trip progressed. The smallest, bounciest vehicle possible, it was collectively decided, would be a pogo stick, so that's what we rode on. I don't know if Fortune cared after a certain point, as long as it wasn't a 'Bus'!
My Dinner
Debbie will shoot me for putting this picture on my blog, but she's a number of hours drive away, thank goodness. Anyhow, don't look at Ash and Debbie, look at the wonderful selection of gourmet food on my plate!
Ever Decreasing Shades of Green
I like how the brilliance of the green in the foreground becomes more muted in the background so clearly. This is the road leading from the Serengeti plain up to Ngorongoro crater.
Fork in the Road
I like compositions that include a road branching off into different paths, leading out of the frame. It adds a bit of mystery, don't you think? I suppose for me this is doubly exciting as I have no sense of direction to speak of, so branching out down a different road usually does evolve into some kind of adventure. Often involving hours longer than predicted trying to get back home.
Quick boys, get your raincoats!
Now that's an ominous cloud formation if ever I saw one. ("Did we zip up our tent door before we left this morning?")
"Hey Bill, do you smell humans?"
I wonder how other animals think humans smell. I don't reckon humans smell that great. You just need the experience of getting onto a crowded London Underground carriage in the middle of summer to know that humans, without the crutch of pharmaceutical products, don't smell that flash. I wonder if water buffalos think we smell tasty. I wonder if they think we smell just like chicken. I wonder if they wonder, "Why does everything always smell like chicken?" Actually, a cannibal once told me we taste just like pork. I imagine to a buffalo, therefore, we smell reminiscent of the wart-hog, which would be the water-buffalo's realm of scent experience.
Birds Above Buffalos
If I were a water buffalo I would take a look in the mirror, realise that I was big enough and ugly enough to scare away anything, and not bother being so flighty. Mind you, I did recently see a documentary on water buffalos trying to cross a river, and several of them were eaten by crocs. I suppose just because you're big and fierce looking doesn't mean that deep down you're just a pussy. Rule for life.
White Swan
Chocolate box picture. Well, the closest I will get to taking a chocolate box picture, anyhow. (Actually, I buy my chocolate in bars, and it usually has Cadbury written on the front.)
Poster for Up-and-Coming Thriller
I reckon this one would make a good basis for a poster advertising a thriller set in Africa. The movie, I have been contemplating, in my next career as a director. I think I'll call it The African Gastro Adventures. The scary scenes will be set in African toilets (and behind unlucky African bushes), but of course I can't give away the climax in the promo here. The cloud formation looks sufficiently ominous, though it didn't actually rain that day.
No, I'm not Japanese, but decided to do a Japanese pose. Well, what are you
meant to do when you're posing with a water-buffalo skull?
This is the hole-in-the-ground version, which I prefer. Two years living in Japan meant I have perfected it. Make sure you're not feeling nauseous already, as the smell of this toilet induces it anyway.
Here's a tip. If you have to use one of these toilets in Africa, try not to have the shits. Advice not previously taken, obviously.
This bird hangs around the campsite at the Ngorongoro crater near Serengeti NP. It takes a surprising amount of effort to maintain this pose, and after mastering it for a few seconds, I have renewed appreciation for this bird, who does it all day. Whaaaaiiiiy???
Close Call
I don't know if you've ever had the experience of a cat peeing on your car to scent-mark it, and when you turn the air-conditioning on, in comes the dazzling aroma of cat-on-heat... Imagine what it's like if the cat in question is a lion. This window was slammed tight shut just before this male lion backed up to the tyre and sprayed litres onto the safari vehicle in Serengeti Park. Noiiice.
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